Decision.

So my weight is something I'm pretty sensitive to and I hate talking about it. But, I've made a decision. I think I'm going to try to lose 10 pounds by Thanksgiving (and I guess put it all back on during the holiday??) hehe :) We'll see if I can do this.

I do have over a month to complete my personal challenge, so I better step up. Ultimately, I'd like to lose more, but I think starting out with a goal of "10" makes it less overwhelming, than say, "I want to lose 50 pounds." Having small victories is probably easier for me to obtain than that one giant victory - though, I would be ecstatic if I reached my goal weight because it's *less* than what my weight in high school was... haha! I've always had weight issues... it REALLY sucks. So all you skinny bitches out there who eat 2 whoppers and fries everyday for lunch and you're still 110 pounds - F you.

My coworkers eat out every day. I'm not sure my wallet or waist can take it as much as theirs does. Next to my ex-boss who is female and probably a good 280 - 290 pounds, I am one of the heftiest in my dept. I hate being one of the fattest people. I know it takes effort to pack a lunch, but its just better for me... otherwise, I'd be totally attempted to overeat.

My mission includes two tracking websites that I want to be a bit more consistent about updating verses updating my practically dead blog:

1. I've started logging my workouts via DailyMile - http://www.dailymile.com/people/HRBabe
2. Additionally, I've started logging my food intake at myfitnesspal.com - http://www.myfitnesspal.com/HRBabe

Well, wish me luck. I'm so tired of being fat. I'm ready to fit into single digit pants!!

Whatcha Think??

My employer has this "point" bank where we receive points if someone (boss, coworker, other management) thinks we've done a good job, he or she can award us points. Each point is the equivalent to 1 US Dollar. Last year, I used 500 points to buy XMas gifts and it really came in handy.

I currently have 562 points and I want to buy something for myself because I've been feeling semi "empty" lately. Treating myself on my company's dime seems like it might make me feel better. I listed a few things below that I kind of had my eye on:

• Flip or Aiptek mini camcorder (179 - 198 points)
• Propane Grill (384 - 417 points)
• Roomba Vacuum (385 - 418 points)
• Elliptical Trainer (425 points)
• Color laser printer (407 - 449 points)
• 26" Samsung LCD TV (467 points)
• GPS Unit - Garmin or Sonocaddie (220 - 468 points)
• $500 Destination Giftcard - Travelocity, Carnival Cruises, etc...
• $550 AmEx Gift Card

I'm leaning towards a color laser printer or a GPS. What do you think I should get? Keep in mind my points also have to pay for shipping and handling. It's kind of dumb, but hey... if I get $450 worth of electronics and all I have to pay for is shipping + taxes, then, I think it's worth it!

My wardrobe comes in waves, you see...

Yesterday I put on a white polo shirt and everything was pretty "B.A.U." as work seems to describe it. (Business As Usual for the acronym-challenged.)

As I walked up to my reclining husband to interrupt his usual Twittering and FBing to steal a kiss, he said, "Hey, your shirt has a tear in it."

"WHAT???" I blurted out. When I looked down, there it was. A huge rip across the area that would expose my areola had it not been covered by a bra.

My first immediate thought was, "Dammit. Now I have to go shopping for more shirts." Not that I don't enjoy shopping; it's fun! I just don't enjoy shopping when I'm fat. And lately, I've been fat.

But this leads me to my title and my wardrobe waves. I end up getting new clothes for one of three reasons:

• Mom gets me stuff she sees on sale. Usually she is spot on with stuff that is professional. However, this last time was a flop. I can't bring myself to even think about wearing it. It's a red 3/4th sleeved sweater with Scottie terriers on it. It either screams "old lady" or "elementary school teacher" to which I am neither.
• I gain or lose weight.
• Wardrobe malfunctions (as described above).

This means I need to be more proactive about my shopping. Ultimately, whether I am big or small is inconsequential if I only have 3 pairs of pants to wear for work. So I need to make it a goal to visit DSW at least every month and DIllard's or some other similar store every 2 weeks. I have to start replacing some of my old threads.

Which makes me wonder; I wore that shirt to work last week. Did it have the rip then? Only my coworkers know the answer to that one.

Earbuds

Most people can wear their headphones at work, but I cannot. It's a bullshit rule why we can't, but it's related to data privacy. Anyway, I would really love to listen to something rather than listen to my coworkers blab, loudly, about anything and everything.

So I've been searching online to see if someone makes wireless earbuds for the iPod. The good news is that Sennheiser does make one.



The bad news is that it's $400! :(

If you're interested in them, here ya go --> http://bit.ly/tmmXh

Now, on top of everything else, I'll have to start a "Earbud" fund. Not good, when I'm dying for a break from my coworker's noise.

Holy Sh**, I need to update!

So lately, I've had like a whirlwind of thoughts in my head, and I haven't blogged a thing. Not that anyone is really all that interested in my life, but I can pretend people are. :)

A few things going on:

• Taking the Capstone for my Masters. Final presentation next Monday night and then I'll officially be done! I'm looking forward to going on a celebratory vacay. I wanted to go to Puerto Rico, but needed to pick something stateside for cost reasons.


• Layoffs happening at work; I won't be affected, but I'm sad one of my coworkers is leaving. :( I've reworked my resume for a more targeted HR role, but I don't know how much it will help. I read SHRMs "LINE" report for Q1 of 2009 - not looking too great. And of the people who *are* getting jobs, they are settling for lower compensation. Guess I should be happy to be employed!


• Trying to keep my weight in check. Have lost 14 pounds in the last 2 months, with hopes of another 8 pounds by graduation day. :) I'm thinking of buying training sessions again.


• I will turn 30 next month! Looking forward to it, but I'm not sure hubs will plan anything big.


• Finished my garden bed finally. Hoping for some great veggies and fruit! This year I planted cucumbers, squash, cantaloupe, basil, parsley, dill, lettuce, arugula, jalapenos, cherry tomatoes, grape tomatoes, green onions, and banana peppers. Nothing beats organic veggies, eh? And the satisfaction of knowing *I* grew it is worth it.


• Bought a coffee table, finally. It's not completely what I wanted, but hey, it's not a bad starter one. Someday, I will have matching furniture. :P It makes more sense to me now why my parents stuff never matched. But I also bought an entry way table and some HUGE (ie, fully mature) indoor plants on-the-cheap!!!! this weekend. LOVE Plant Interscapes. They sell all the plants that were used in rentals/displays, but the plants are still in good condition. I bought a Tarzan plant/tree for $10! And a fully grown peace lilly for $5!! :D

Well, there are other things going on, but those are the ones that pop out in my head the most.

I better get to bed. My schedule was changed (at the request of my managers) so I better get some sleep! I'm going to try to update this thing as much as I updated my LJ back in the day. After next week, I should have the time!

I'll leave you with some pictures I took this weekend of the flowers/plants around my house.

Get this widget at roytanck.com

Sunday update

So the weight loss is not really coming along as planned. The Thanksgiving holiday interrupted my workouts. I was told it takes 21 days to form a habit.. so, I'm STILL just trying to get into it again. I'm just so heavy. This is the heaviest I've been since I've moved to San Antonio and I just don't find it acceptable anymore. Sigh. 21 days. The Nike Challenge is 50 miles by the end of the year. I think I'm around 7 miles into it. Just need to keep up the 3 miles per workout thing. Hopefully I'll attain it.

On top of that, just trying to push along... keep the house in order and get things straightened up in my life. I am going back to the feelings I had when I first came here: I need more friends, specifically girlfriends. I mean, I have friends here... and don't get me wrong, I do love being around them and they are great people. But the bottom line is that they were friends with my husband before they were friends with me. So they are more *his* interests vs. mine. Not saying we don't have common ground, but, that theme holds true for just about all my friends - friends with husband before friends with me. Honestly, there are days I want just a night out with the ladies and I want to go dancing - to a club, not a shitkicker bar. I want someone to go shoe shopping with. Or someone to go take a Saturday cooking class with. Hell, even something crafty that Michael's has going. Or a group of friends that say, "Hey we're going on a Saturday run/walk/bike - come join." Maybe I need to be around people significantly younger than me because we don't have kids and neither do they. I don't know. I also feel like I am really missing my asian element. And the one Korean store we have here is a good 20 miles and 35 minute ride away. When I lived in Lubbock at least my mom would go with... and she had friends to go places with her.

I also feel gipped. I think it would have been fun to go to a Christmas party, but my company can't pull off anything without charging its employees money and hubs company wasn't any better. In fact, they didn't hold anything off-site and the one time we did go to his company event, we paid $50 for crappy ass food and a white elephant gift exchange. (We ended up with ugly ass paintings that we threw away.)

Ugh. Dunno. This probably doesn't make sense. Not sure why I feel like I am in a funk, just do. Maybe San Antonio isn't the place for me. Too bad we just bought a house and I'm committed to school.

Trying weight loss (seriously) again.

For many of you that know me, you know that I have always battled my weight. When I was a child, I was always the fat girl that the guys "made friends with" because I wasn't much of a threat. I was "cool" but not pretty - and heavier than the beautiful, dainty girls.

I'm one of those people that has to consistently work out or I will gain weight no matter what I eat. For the most part, I hate exercise. I was on the tennis team in high school, but doing anything physical for the team was a serious chore. I was excited when I went to college, because I didn't *have* to do anything physical!

As a result, I ballooned - and not just your freshman 15. I gained 40 pounds my freshman year in college. I was a small 12 when I met and began dating my now husband, but a husky 18 at the end of my freshman year. Part of my issue was never having a *real* boyfriend. I wanted to spend time with him. It seemed we ate out just about every night because that was the only time we could actually be together - I lived at home and so did he. We were unwelcome at my parents house and his dad always ate our groceries.

Fast forward 4 years later (2002) to when I graduated. I put on a happy face (because getting a Bachelor's is a very large accomplishment.) But, it was probably one of the most *unhappy* points in my life. The reason? At my absolute heaviest, I broke the scale at 207 pounds. (Wow. I've never admitted my weight to anyone.) But, here I was, about to "start my life" and I'm HUGE. Finding "professional" looking suits was so incredibly depressing. I stuck to wearing all black, semi stretchy dresses and I had "cankles" that I hated showing off when I wore anything that showed skin.

In 2003, I decided enough was enough. My husband (then boyfriend) moved to San Antonio to find a job. I found myself very bored back in Lubbock. All my friends were in Dallas and my love was 400 miles away. I thought I'd surprise him the next time we saw each other by starting an exercise regimen coupled with eating right. My commitment was high - I even went to the gym on Saturday's. It took me about 7 months to lose 50 pounds. I may not have been super skinny, but I was at least happier with my self image. I have hovered at that weight ever since.

So now we're back to today. After nearly 2 years of a rather sporadic workout routine, I'm ready to hop back to it. I have gained 20 pounds since my workout routine died in 2006 due to going to class for my HR Generalist License, then I got engaged so I wedding planned, and now I'm a grad student. I'm tired of feeling "huge" again. And the self image I have is skewed - I picture myself skinner than I really am.

Lately my chief complaint is about working out is, "I am not motivated." Well, after Sunday, I think I got a big push of motivation.

A very good friend of mine, Jennifer Navarrete, signed up to run in the San Antonio Rock 'N Roll half marathon. She didn't do any training (which, may or may not be a good thing); HOWEVER, she did it. It took her longer than other runners, but she was by no means last AND she finished!! I thought on Sunday, "If she can do it *without* training, then I can certainly do it with training!"

Yes, this means, I want to do a half marathon, too! But I'm very out of shape and it will definitely be baby steps. But I did get to the gym tonight. I'm excited to go tomorrow, too. I liked doing the bike today, actually. Feeling the burn actually felt good.

So, wish me luck, guys. I could use support. My ultimate goal this time isn't a certain weight - it's a certain size. I want to be a size 8. Why a size 8? I don't know. It's a single digit and it feels more achievable than a 4. I think it's attainable, even if it takes me a year to get there!