Trying weight loss (seriously) again.

For many of you that know me, you know that I have always battled my weight. When I was a child, I was always the fat girl that the guys "made friends with" because I wasn't much of a threat. I was "cool" but not pretty - and heavier than the beautiful, dainty girls.

I'm one of those people that has to consistently work out or I will gain weight no matter what I eat. For the most part, I hate exercise. I was on the tennis team in high school, but doing anything physical for the team was a serious chore. I was excited when I went to college, because I didn't *have* to do anything physical!

As a result, I ballooned - and not just your freshman 15. I gained 40 pounds my freshman year in college. I was a small 12 when I met and began dating my now husband, but a husky 18 at the end of my freshman year. Part of my issue was never having a *real* boyfriend. I wanted to spend time with him. It seemed we ate out just about every night because that was the only time we could actually be together - I lived at home and so did he. We were unwelcome at my parents house and his dad always ate our groceries.

Fast forward 4 years later (2002) to when I graduated. I put on a happy face (because getting a Bachelor's is a very large accomplishment.) But, it was probably one of the most *unhappy* points in my life. The reason? At my absolute heaviest, I broke the scale at 207 pounds. (Wow. I've never admitted my weight to anyone.) But, here I was, about to "start my life" and I'm HUGE. Finding "professional" looking suits was so incredibly depressing. I stuck to wearing all black, semi stretchy dresses and I had "cankles" that I hated showing off when I wore anything that showed skin.

In 2003, I decided enough was enough. My husband (then boyfriend) moved to San Antonio to find a job. I found myself very bored back in Lubbock. All my friends were in Dallas and my love was 400 miles away. I thought I'd surprise him the next time we saw each other by starting an exercise regimen coupled with eating right. My commitment was high - I even went to the gym on Saturday's. It took me about 7 months to lose 50 pounds. I may not have been super skinny, but I was at least happier with my self image. I have hovered at that weight ever since.

So now we're back to today. After nearly 2 years of a rather sporadic workout routine, I'm ready to hop back to it. I have gained 20 pounds since my workout routine died in 2006 due to going to class for my HR Generalist License, then I got engaged so I wedding planned, and now I'm a grad student. I'm tired of feeling "huge" again. And the self image I have is skewed - I picture myself skinner than I really am.

Lately my chief complaint is about working out is, "I am not motivated." Well, after Sunday, I think I got a big push of motivation.

A very good friend of mine, Jennifer Navarrete, signed up to run in the San Antonio Rock 'N Roll half marathon. She didn't do any training (which, may or may not be a good thing); HOWEVER, she did it. It took her longer than other runners, but she was by no means last AND she finished!! I thought on Sunday, "If she can do it *without* training, then I can certainly do it with training!"

Yes, this means, I want to do a half marathon, too! But I'm very out of shape and it will definitely be baby steps. But I did get to the gym tonight. I'm excited to go tomorrow, too. I liked doing the bike today, actually. Feeling the burn actually felt good.

So, wish me luck, guys. I could use support. My ultimate goal this time isn't a certain weight - it's a certain size. I want to be a size 8. Why a size 8? I don't know. It's a single digit and it feels more achievable than a 4. I think it's attainable, even if it takes me a year to get there!

Texas Tech Beats UT, 39 - 33

Having lived in Lubbock most of my life (1986 - 2004), as well as being a graduate of Texas Tech University, I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of my Red Raiders! What a nail-biting game. Tonight proved that the underdog can win and we certainly made history with that extraordinary touchdown at the very end of the game.

Living in a college town, you live and breathe college sports. My family is huge into football, since both my dad, his brothers, and my brother played in high school. Growing up, occasionally my dad would get free tickets to games and we always routed for Tech. All my life, our biggest rivals have been Texas A&M and University of Texas. These were the games that the tickets could cost you nearly $500/piece just to go watch Tech lose. I always thought these two teams viewed us as decent competition, until I moved to South Texas.

After moving to San Antonio, I quickly realized that Texas A&M and University of Texas view us as if they are able to easily swat us away like we are some annoying fly. I never thought we were the buttholes of the Big 12, but since neither of these teams nor the fans have ever given Tech very much credit or respect, I rarely speak up about being a fan in this sea of burnt orange. Anymore it seems as if UT fans just *assume* they will win every game they play, so to them it doesn't matter what I say about my team. One day, as I am getting my hair done, I overheard a girl say how much she "hates Texas Tech."

Well, scoot over, Longhorns. Tonight, we were welcomed into the "Big Times" and you are no longer #1. And we earned every bit of our win. We played skillfully and hard, we played smart, and we did it with a lot of heart! I'm so proud to be a Red Raider tonight.

After our history-making win, I immediately thought about my grandpa. I really wish he were alive to have seen the game. He was a fan of Texas Tech simply because I went there. He lived in DC, but made sure to watch every televised game. Every time our team made national news, he'd mail me a newspaper clipping from the Washington Post. I'm so sorry he didn't get to see this. But maybe he heard me cheering from way down here.

What a win.
And what a night.

Wreck 'Em Tech. GO BIG RED!